Is this real life?

There are a ton of things that come into play when you are a new mom for the first time. I say for the first time, because I can imagine each time you have a baby you are once again a new mom.
Can you really prepare for what motherhood will be like, really prepare for those first weeks that just run together...one huge, wonderful, emotional blur? In the first few weeks people kept asking me how I felt, how SharleeOli was sleeping, if I loved being a mom, etc. I told people flat out that I thought every woman with more than one child was out of their minds, because how can someone live and function feeling this way? I had never known such exhaustion, frustration and many other things. A lot of people looked at me like I was crazy for seemingl not just being overjoyed and bubbly about the whole thing......I was, but it was masked by all the crazy.
Let me tell you, I am in total awe of every mother for how well they act while having no personal space, ever. I am probably painting a picture of myself being a very selfish, self-centered person, but honestly I have always loved children....I used to cancel dates if I had a babysitting gig offered, because a gang of little boys to play with was a guarantee of a fun night. But, when you are the mom, you don't get a break... you don't get to go home at the end of the night to your own silence...you don't get to close the bedroom  door and return to the scene in the morning...there is no certainty of what the night will hold. That was something that really stressed me out at first...I had serious anxiety about what my nights would entail.
Now, a mere 12 weeks into my life long work (because I know being a mom will never go away, 😊) I am starting to feel like a human being...well I have slowly felt more and more alive. Everyone talks about how you forget the first days of motherhood and that is why women are crazy enough to go for more rounds, but I think it is true. It all goes SO fast. Sharlee is not even 3 months old yet and she is dead set on sitting up by herself...she has pretty much accomplished it in about 4 days of trying. Now I wonder, did I wish away those first couple of weeks more than I enjoyed them? I enjoyed everything about her, but maybe my mind was clouded from exhaustion and hunger...haha, but I think that is the way it is supposed to be.
Sharlee is my best friend and I know everything I possibly can about her and I get to learn more every day as she develops such a unique personality.
What a pure blessing it is to be Sharlee's mother and friend, to care for her and be her advocate while she is young and whenever she needs me.

I love spending my days doing the things that are most important, loving and teaching...but mostly loving and observing. People around town have told me how lucky I am to be able to stay home with her now, but that in a couple of years I will need to get out of the house and away from my children....ummmm, I hope I don't ever feel like I have to get away every day, because this is a challenge, a beautiful challenge.

These two fell asleep and left me to finish a movie by myself!

Motherhood

I just wanted to write down some thoughts. This probably won't be eloquent or as funny as it is in my head, because honestly I have a baby strapped to me right now and it is awkward to type. I could be really productive, but doing the dishes with a baby strapped to your front is kind of awkward and difficult....more so than doing it pregnant. And.......she's awake.... ha, it doesn't last long if you sit down.

One funny~~~~ When I was pregnant people started talking about using a special laundry detergent that would be gentle on a new baby's skin. So, while at Target I told my husband that was something we needed to find. So, we looked through the massive selection of laundry soaps....who knew it was such a task when you are used to just grabbing the cheapest one at Walmart. I tried to get Ryan's opinion on what one to get,but of course we were near the bikes and toys and that stuff is way more fun to look at. Well, I found some and for the next month before Sharlee was born I washed all of her clothes with this stuff. Fast forward to about day 10 postpartum. My mom was with us and doing everything for me (I have the best mom!) and she asked me at what point during the cycle should she put in the fabric softener. I told her that I don't have fabric softener and she said that I certainly did, a big white jug of it. I told her that was the sensitive detergent. She came into the living room carrying the monster bottle and read it to me. I was shocked. For a very emotional person to begin with and dealing with a massive drop in hormones I was pretty upset about this! I had been washing all baby clothes in fabric softener, thus not really washing them. Surprisingly I don't think I cried over this incidence, but I laughed about it and it was on the top of my mind for days. I think a lot of motherhood will be like this for me. (: I love that weird things like this happen in life to keep us laughing.

There is a thought that has been on my mind a lot the past two months. People always talk about how messy babies are---all the spit up, explosive diapers, etc. For the first two weeks of motherhood, Sharlee never spit up-honestly. BUT, I was still SO grateful for birp cloths. Moms always talk about how handy it is to have birp cloths around.....yeah, I know why. There are two jugs that seem to spring a leak now and again...and in the beginning it was again and again and again! Who would have thought that I would get so used to having extra cloths stuffed under my shirt, wear wash cloths under my clothes and switch them out multiple times a day!?!! It's crazy! There have been many times that I have thought to myself, 'Wow, I seriously feel like a cow!' But it's okay, I love it! hahahaa Being able to feed your child is really awesome! It's also cool that Sharlee spits up a lot now so that I can have an excuse for having so many birp cloths stuffed in the diaper bag all the time! Really though, the geysers are getting on a routine just like 'Ol Faithful. ;)

Hmmm, I have so many thoughts and great things that I want to blog about all the time, but I blog them in my head and then forget to copy them here. One last thing, how does one EVER stop taking pictures of their children?! Maybe it will catch on later, but some people probably think it is ridiculous how many pictures people post of their children in Facebook, Instagram, etc., but wow...I have probably 10 photos per day of life of Sharlee! Here is one thing I know is true already. The first child gets it all--millions of photos, blog posts, a little journal of all the firsts, etc, etc, but I am just trying to keep life simple.....

 I have a few...cough cough a million pictures that I feel like posting here...mostly because I am my biggest blog follower.... (:

 This was in the Mother's room at church. Sharlee was having a rough time until I let her hangout on the floor.

Ryan put this pillow here to try to keep her pacifier in her mouth so that I could eat....scarf my food down. 

Self explanatory...cutest little girl there is.

I feel like she looks like a little gangsta baby every time she is wrapped. 

This was one of my favorite days. Sharlee wanted to get up early and smile and squirm while Daddy got ready for work...I wasn't too happy that she wanted to be awake at that time of the morning. We played for almost two hours...I sneaked in some tummy time and she clonked out...WIN! I got an extra two hours of sleep on the living room floor with this cutie. 

 

Valentine's Day--the day you get to snooze all morning and wake up at church lookin' good!

Umm, some dream, eh? 

Yessssss, holding hands with my daughter is one of my favorite things.

Frills...!

I am not a foot person....I just don't like them...never thought I would even care to touch my own children's feet, but I kiss these! Seriously something I wouldn't have thought, but I just can't get enough of her feet!

This girl has the softest neck!

Snoozing---I call this the swing n' swaddle. She loves being in her swing if she is swaddled...hands free of course. 

Ready to get out in the sunshine. 

Wearing her new "turban". 

Showing me she is so strong so we can cut it with this whole "tummy time" business. 

This week Sharlee has started to have a little bit of fussiness and I found the cure...She doesn't want to wear her clothes. This girl hardly cries, but she had a fit until I took off her clothes and it turned into the best day ever....We have head a few of these since...

How do you taking a sleeping child and put them into the car to go pick up Daddy when you know that will equal pouting for the whole drive through town?

squishy cheeks. She has huge smiles when I do this. 

Love when she looks up at me with drowsy eyes!