Lander's Birth Story

 I was due May 30th. I expected to be pregnant a few extra days, but that doesn't make the wait any easier. Jules (my mom) came a few days before on Memorial day to be sure and not miss little man's grand entrance. 

On the 2nd Ryan took me out on a bumpy 4 wheeler (quad! ;) ) ride to try to kick things into gear. 

Surprise, I woke on the 3rd still feeling  mostly fine. Maybe a little achy and a little nauseous. 4 days over due.

About 9am I started having contractions. 

They were bouncing from 7/8 minutes apart to even 2 minutes apart. At around 11 they even ranged to 10minutes apart. Jules had taken all the kids to an activity at the library at 10am. I let Ryan know and called Megan(midwife). She had just finished up a morning birth. We would let her know when we wanted her to come. Ryan headed home from work.

Jules and the older kids got back around 1pm. About 2 o'clock I texted my friend April (love you!) and let her know that Jules was going to bring the kids to her. Ryan started prepping some of the birth supplies between helping me during contractions. 

By 2pm, contractions were more intense and Ry and Jules were doing a lot of counter pressure on my lower back and hips. I was leaning on the yoga ball. Once Ry saw my 4th contraction in a row that was 3 minutes apart, he called the midwife. 

That was probably about 4pm. They arrived around 4:15pm and worked on getting the birth pool warmer. 

Contractions were right on top of each other and I started to feel my body pushing. Ry got my socks and pants off me and I walked on my knees the 2-3 feet to the birth pool and got in. 

From getting in the birth pool to holding my baby was 3 1/2 minutes. 

I immediately felt my body open up and I could feel his head. Then I felt the sac broken and held onto a length of it. 

I held the top of his head as it came out. I felt the cord was wrapped around him and said, "cord" mid push to the midwife. She said to wait until the baby was all the way out to detangle it. On the next wave/push, he was out. I quickly slipped the cord over his head and pulled the cutest baby up out of the water and repositioned myself to lean back against the side of the pool. I rubbed his back and kissed him. His lungs were not clear and wasn't getting a good clear breath. Megan said I could cover his nose and mouth with my mouth and suck to help clear his airways or she could put the mask on him and push the it down to clear his airways. 

I used my mouth over his airways and sucked a few times and got some of it cleared out, but then I had her use the mask also, and then he was much clearer. 

To birth the placenta, Ry lifted me up out of the water and gravity helped me to get it out. Then we slowly moved over to lay on the couch. He started to nurse and look around. 

What a beautiful day!

Ryan cut the cord and after a while, we slowly made our way upstairs. 

Lander had his newborn checks done, we ordered Cafe Rio and Jules went and got the food and the excited brothers and sisters!

Everyone wanted to hold him. Birdie got nervous and held him a little while after eating. 

After a few hours we settled on his name. We added Zachary, making it a double middle name for our little boy. 

We love you Lander Zachary Valgard!

Present at Birth: Me!, Ry (Dad), Grandma Jules, Midwife Megan, Assistants Taylor and DeLis

7lbs. 1oz,  20 1/2in  4:55pm

Birdie's Birth Story

 3 days past due!

Around 4am I knew this was probably going to be the day. Through out the day I had very randomly spaced, but strong, contractions. 

We watched general conference and did Easter egg coloring pages. I laid down to relax after conference and the rest of the family went to play in the yard. 

Ryan came in to chat and just about 5pm I started to time contractions. They were around 10 minutes apart. After a few I told Ryan he needed to bring the kids inside, clean them up, and feed them dinner, while we still had time for that. 

I worked through contractions in the living room while they ate. Once my food was ready, I was too busy and didn't eat. I did have a little protein drink.

After the first hour of contractions, I texted Megan, our midwife to tell her. The contractions were inconsistent, so she told me to do side-lying release and inversion. Once I did those (which took about an hour in total), contractions got to more around every 2-3 minutes. 

Ryan got kids ready for bed and prepped the birth bed and the birth pool in Sharlee's room. Ryan had walked out of the room while filling the tub. We heard a splash and as I was in the bathroom, I heard the commotion. Laddie had leaned over the edge and fallen into the birth pool. Ryan changed his diaper and jammies. Then he had the boys get into bed and Sharlee was set in their room to help go to sleep. She told them a story, but I swear the Holy Ghost was already very present. Both boys fell asleep very fast, without making a noise. 

Just before the pool incident, Ryan had called the midwife and asked her to head over. This was about 8:30. 

I was laboring in the hallway. The boys had been stressing Ryan out and when he was changing Laddie he was saying he was going to ask the neighbors to take the boys. Thankfully everything calmed down quickly. I felt very peaceful about keeping the kids home with us. 

The midwife and assistants arrived around 9 and quietly bustled about filling the tub to be warmer, etc. 

Sharlee and Ryan were helping me in the hallway. Sharlee brought me my water. Pretty soon they asked me to get in the birth pool, if that's where I wanted to be. 

Ryan helped me up and I stepped out of my shorts and shirt and got in the water. As the contractions kept coming, I felt very overwhelmed/scared. I released that energy by crying. Ryan leaned in close to me, placed his hands on my head and gave me a priesthood blessing. 

I am so grateful for the gifts and blessings of the priesthood. 

While I was crying, Sharlee stepped out, because she was scared. 

We had talked about if she got scared or overwhelmed she could go watch a movie, etc. The midwife chatted with her in the hallway and she chose to come back in. 

I reached down and pulled away membrane. I heard the midwifes take note of that. Ryan whispered to Sharlee that my water broke. Her sweet, quiet squeal and, "I'm so excited!", was so cute. 

I loved having her support. I reached down and felt a head full of hair!

I guided my baby through, birthing her head. A few waves/contractions and her shoulders were still not out. From behind the midwife helped pull her out. Her shoulders were more back, than tucked forward and were a little stuck. I got hold of her and lifted her to my chest and leaned back against the pool! Yay! Sweet baby. 

After some rubbing, she still needed some help to breathe clearer. They had Ryan hold her head down and rub/pat her back. She cried and I got to hold her again. After checking her again, they determined it would help to use the bag and mask. After 3"breaths", she had a stronger cry. 

I held her and nursed her. 

Contractions intensified as I worked to birth the placenta. There was one part stuck/still attached, finally broke free, and I handed it into the pan for the midwife. 

They gave me some juice, and after a few more minutes they helped me up and slowly through the hallway to my bed. It was so sweet to have Daddy and Sharlee with us! Soon it was time to cut the cord. Sharlee said she would do it. I was crying with intense after pains while they were doing it. Ryan said Sharlee was very hesitant, but he helped her do it. 

The next day when I was talking to her about all of it, she said, "It hurt you so bad!" She thought I was crying from her cutting the umbilical cord. I explained it to her and assured her that she did not hurt me or the baby. She seemed Very relieved after our conversation. 

About 12am we shooed a reluctant Sharlee to bed. 

Midwife Ashley read her a book and told her a story and she fell asleep. 

Sweet Birdie Clara was born at 9:50pm, after a full weekend of waiting and hoping for her through general conference. 

7lbs. 12oz. 20 1/2in long.  Beautiful, dark hair. 

Maternal Mental Health - Postpartum Depression and Me

 When the sun is shining on your face, but you can't feel the warmth. When there is so much beauty around you, you know it's there, but the fog is so thick, you don't know if you will ever breathe again.

So many times I thought, "why am I feeling like this?! They tell you what depression feels like, but you don't really know until you KNOW." But, I'm sure it's  still unique to everyone,  all human experiences are.

I have had some really dark days since the birth of my 3rd child. Yes, I have 4, but each one comes with their own set of joys and challenges. Little things saved me at different moments. Often times it was the vulnerable words of another mother. I felt a little less alone. I take that back, I had dark days or scary thoughts pre-baby 3. I didn't recognize them for what they were at the time, though I knew up and down about intrusive thoughts, but when you are in it, again, the fog can be pretty thick.

I have talked to myself in circles about reasons why I struggled when I did. My gosh, I joined the ranks of people struggling in 2020. "If only I could have jumped back into my activity and routines with the kids, but Covid stripped me of my life-preservers that I had been counting on."

I'll just say it, I had postpartum depression.

There were days where I pleaded with the Lord, to be able to make it until Ryan could get home from work. I really struggled to be a kind, patient, loving mom. Still do, because that intense internal battle changes you. Bad habits were built and I have so much guilt. Have I ruined my sweet babies? Oh man, I've prayed. I pled for my children to forgive me, so many times. They always do, again, makes me wonder, have I ruined them? 

The birth of Birdie seemingly healed many things for me, physically and mentally.  No, that doesn't mean I haven't had a single dark day, or moment, or intrusive thought, or felt like some days are just TOO long, but the fog isn't always there, it's not so thick.

I can sympathize so much deeper now with different struggles that I see others facing. I'm still a horribly tough critic, but I have a more profound appreciation for what the Savior did for me. The lonely feelings of the world are agonizing. 

I have dear friends who have shared their experiences with me in different ways. What I can say is, they are SO strong. The way they advocate for themselves, for the wellness of their families, fighting because they love their babies.

I have been jealous of those who recognize they are struggling and have the strength to reach out for the help they need.  

If you check on someone and they say they are *fine or *ok, when they are usually  *great or otherwise more cheerful, think of something you can do to show some love to them, no matter how small. In the darkest times I literally could not advocate for myself and my *ok or sharing of little frustrations or tiny asks of help was me SCREAMING for help, my *shouting that I was drowning. Some of my intrusive thoughts had me believing if I shared that I was struggling, that my children would be taken from me, so I couldn't really reach out. I was terrified of someone else taking care of my kids and me not being allowed to be with them, etc.

Things that helped me, big and small:

 Gym membership April 2021-April 2022 -consistent and devoted exercise was hugely therapeutic.  I could workout, have the kids cared for without having to wait for my husband to be off work and impede on the dinner time/bed time rush.

Real friends! Bunco group with my gal pals was a huge blessing of fun to look forward to every month.

Get outside. I may love the outdoors and know that it brings me LIFE, but something about motherhood coups me up inside and without intentionality, it can be days before I step outside.  Getting chickens also helps with this. The daily easter egg hunts I had with free range chickens was great in adding  a little daily excitement. 

Movie for the kids that don't nap. They may have watched a lot of movies, but I usually got a nap, which was imperative with a baby that didn't  sleep longer than a 3 hr stretch for at least 18months. (I understand why sleep deprivation is a form of torture…)

Awakening different senses. -eating a snickers bar while hiding in the pantry, sitting in the grass, smelling lotion while lathering your skin, etc.

It's Maternal Mental Health week and Mom's health matters. Please friends, know that you can share your struggles and joys with me. I know that just being able to say *it, admit you are having a hard time, in any way, can be largely relieving, like letting out the pressure on a super tight balloon or coming up for breath after sitting at the bottom of the pool.

I hope that my  struggles can maybe cushion someone else's pains and help them not feel so alone, and that they can have a moment of bravery and boldness (or more than a moment) and ask for help and if they don't "hear" you, I know that deafening silence feels like it will break you. I'm SO grateful that our Father in Heaven hears us.  I know He does.  

Happy Birthday Sista!

I love you! ❤️  Thanks for always being someone I can count on. It was so great having a sister to grow up with. I remember how much I relied on my 'roommate', so much so, I felt hopeless if you got a sleepover invite. You lovingly gave me a framed picture of yourself so I would miss you less. 😂 I remember sleeping behind the couch (to be close to Mom and Dad) with your picture.

                   Happy Birthday! 

My kids love you and always tell me all the great things about you and why can't I be more like Auntie C? Haha!

Merry Christmas 2021!

 So Blessed!!!

Highlights:

Laddie (2)  loves to follow Daddy and do what he is doing. He often says when asked what he’s up to, “I workin”. He asks Mom every day to take him to UBTech so he can work with Dad. 

Soren (4) is all about tools and taking things apart. Screwdrivers are his favorite. He also really enjoys cuddling. 

Sharlee (6) started Kindergarten this year and is exploding with personality and jokes. She loves a good craft and drawing pictures for everyone. 

Micah runs around in a frenzy taking care of all the behind-the-scenes work. She has enjoyed going to exercise classes at the Rec Center while Sharlee is at school in the mornings. 

Ryan has been working like crazy doing side work/custom fabrication jobs this year and also became a Certified Welding Inspector.  We all run to him, cheering him on every day when he gets home from work. 

We are all extremely excited for baby sister to come to the family in March 2022. 

Merry Christmas sweet friends and family!!! 

 “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6)

With love, 

Ryan, Micah, Sharlee, Soren, & Laddie

Biighah and Missy

Christmas 2020- A Blurb

 

Merry Christmas!

We are so excited to have another wonderful Christmas to finish off this “life” filled year.  Ryan finally got his shop this year (a shipping container in the backyard) and has had a little bit of time building in and utilizing that space. The kids have enjoyed having chickens and ducks, especially Sharlee with her favorite chicken, Golden, who she pushes around in a doll stroller and totes around the yard. Soren loves riding his balance bike fast and talks about his future motorcycle all the time. Laddie keeps us all smiling with his growls, hugs, and big toothy smile. I’m just in the background hoping that I am keeping things running in some way!

We are so blessed and are trying to be kind, loving, and to be a friend in some way to anyone we see! We love you all!

~~ Ryan, Micah, Sharlee, Soren, and Laddie

2020

Laddie's Birth Story

      September 26th started out as just another "waiting day". My mom had arrived the night before and we started the morning feeding the kids breakfast and catching up. I made a smoothie for mom and myself. Once we finally got the kids dressed and ready to go somewhere it was nearly noon. I drove down the main street, showing my mom how to get anywhere she may need to go in the next week and then we took the kids to Remember the Maine Park. We enjoyed a small "hike" with the kids and then sat in the grass eating snacks and then let the kids play on the playground for a few minutes. 

      Once home we plopped Soren in bed for a nap and I made myself a chicken salad sandwich so that I could hurry and still squeeze in an afternoon nap. I like to get Soren up by 3 from his nap. 

I had really been trying to take naps in hopes that if I went into labor I either wouldn't be too tired to labor in the night or in hopes that relaxing in the day might help me to go into labor at an appropriate hour. 

     I got into bed about 2:20pm, but proceeded to get on Instagram and Facebook and intermittently tried to sleep. I had to get up to use the bathroom a time or two and at about 2:40pm had a contraction. Once I had another I decided to time them just for the heck of it, since they seemed more intense than ones in the past week. They were about 3 1/2 minutes apart and around 45 seconds long. I decided to get up and do something different to see if that changed things. 

    When I came back to the kitchen and Jules and Sharlee were doing a watercolor painting, Jules said, "you are supposed to be resting!" I told her "I know, but it's hard to sleep" and then added, "and I've had a few contractions".  She nearly jumped, "you have?!" I stopped timing contractions about this time and just tried to relax. Over the next 30min, I went to the bathroom a couple more times. Just before 3:30 I was in the bathroom and there was a small gush of fluid. ! That had to be my water, right?! When labor is starting or even in full swing, I usually have a hard time believing it, or at least try to remain sort of unconnected for as long as I can. 

    I began to knock on the bathroom wall and call for my mom. She heard the knocking and was a little confused. Sharlee told her someone was at the door so they checked the front door and then heard me say " I am in the bathroom. Come here." They checked the hall bathroom and finally made it to my room. I told my mom that my water broke and she seemed pretty excited and asked, "well, what can I do?" I asked for my phone to call Ryan and the midwife. I actually had talked to Ryan about 10min previous and asked when he would be coming home, because "things might be happening". He told me he would be home probably in an hour. So, I called him again and he said he was just getting in his truck to come home. I told him my water broke and he said, "Sweet!" 

   Next, I called the midwife and she said she would get ready and that she would see if her assistant/another midwife could come over and check that it was amniotic fluid, since she lives closer to me. 

    The next hour was filled with my mom bustling around, pulling Soren out of his bed and getting the kids ready to go somewhere and Ryan bustling around getting the things ready that were on his "labor list".  He asked if it was ok if he showered quick and I said, "If it's the fastest dang shower of your life because you have things to do." He changed his mind and his clothes to be clean and more comfortable. 

     Megan (our assistant) showed up just before 4:30 and confirmed that it was amniotic fluid, my water did break. She looked at my contraction timing and that they weren't all about a minute long, but of course, I was timing while people were asking me different questions of where things were and what to do with the kids, etc.  She stepped out and called Heather (midwife) and then came and sat down on the couch to quietly observe//be present if I needed something. 

   My mom was trying to get the kids out the door, but Sharlee was so upset and said, "But I want to watch the baby come out!" Soon they were gone and I labored through contractions mostly on my hands and knees while Ryan was at the table eating. He and the midwife began taking turns putting pressure on my lower back through contractions.  

    I went to the bathroom and had more intense contractions and Ryan helped me. The midwife said that I sounded like things were getting more intense. I came out of the bathroom with the intention of getting back to the living room but ended up on the floor just inside my room. I knelt down and breathed low tones through contractions, swaying my head back and forth.  Labor is interesting because it is a time where I am pulled very inward. I felt as though I had two people inside me. One was the voice telling me, "this is ridiculous! Why am I here again? I know better. If I am ever pregnant again I am going to just go to the hospital and get all the things so I don't have to go through this." Then I was able to focus on my true voice and remember the things I had on my bathroom mirror. One little card says, "Meditation is positive remembering". I thought about how strong I am, how capable I am, how I have been here before, and it is the most amazing thing, I get a great prize at the end! I also leaned heavily on the strength of women, the many women who have done this, we were made for this, etc. It was an empowering moment for me. During this, Heather had come and they were taking turns sitting by me and making sure everything was prepped, there was enough warm water in the birth pool,etc. Heather asked if I wanted to get into the birth pool. I wanted to but I also wanted to put it off as long as I could, because in labor's past I felt like I spent so much time in the water, labor is long, etc. So, I started to get up but stayed down as I had another contraction or two together. She said if I was going to move, I better take this opportunity. So I got up and went to the next room and got into the birth pool.  This was around 5:30. They turned out the light so it wasn't so bright. Ryan sat in front of me and held my arms or kissed my forehead and gave me sips of water. 

   The midwives said it was 5:50 when I started pushing. My head was resting on the side of the pool and I was focused completely inward. I had my hand down and I felt Laddie's head an inch or two from coming out. I held his head as it moved downwards. Heather said, "Reach down and feel your baby's head." The best I could I said, "I already am." Ryan looked at her and said, "He's coming already???" I "shushed" him and Ryan said the midwife gave him a look that matched his feelings of, -oh, let's be quiet-. He thought I shushed him because I didn't want to hear something like that when it was still going to take a while. As I slowly breathed and he was emerging, I made sure to slow things down, trying not to tear. It was a surreal feeling to be in control. His head came out and it seemed to be one quick second before I pulled him up out of the water and put him to my chest and leaned back. Ryan looked shocked that I was holding our boy. He was born at 6:03pm

   Ryan came around behind me and we just loved on Laddie and talked to him. He was breathing great, looking around and had great cries. They put warm towels around him and in a couple minutes they helped me to get my now wet shirt and bra off to nurse him. 

    Once I birthed the placenta, we slowly got up and moved to our room to lay down on the bed. Ryan got to cut the cord and we soon had some time in the room just the three of us. We didn't know what time he had been born, but we were just both in awe together that we were already loving on our sweet little boy!

    The midwives came back in and checked on us more and got Laddie's stats, etc.  

   Ryan called my mom to let her know she could bring the kids home and that the baby was born about 2 hours previous. When they arrived Sharlee came straight to my room and was surely the happiest girl in the world! She loves this little boy! Then Ryan called his family and Sharlee told them that she had a new little brother!!

    She has reminded me quite a few times that she really wanted to watch him come out! She is now very much excited to get married someday so she can have her own babies and be the mommy that is in charge of the baby and can hold her babies whenever she wants and kiss her babies all over the face! 

    Soren was also very excited. He has had so much energy and loves kissing his brother. He does remind me, very seriously, "you are  MY mom!" He doesn't want to be forgotten!

We LOVE our children!

Approx. labor time: 3 hrs, 20min

Laddie Forest Taylor

7lbs, 4oz

21inches

Merry Christmas! 2018

Merry Christmas!

We have heard it said many times that the Lord has different plans for our lives than we do. It’s great to look back on the year and see the many ways in which we have been blessed.

The first half of our year flew by with the regular, day to day activities. Ryan enjoyed being in Scouting and Young Men’s at church and the kids and I played, read, and I did a lot of school work while the rest of the family slept. We also enjoyed family work of building a fence in our back yard and other fun work.

Throughout the summer we spent time at the pool and went to the lake with friends. In July I graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho with a Bachelor of Science in Marriage and Family Studies. We were all so happy to have that done! Ryan accepted a job as a welding instructor at Uintah Basin Technical College, so we had to figure out all the details of moving to Vernal, Utah…quickly!

Within the first two weeks of August, Soren turned 1 and started walking, we sold our house, and Ryan left, with all our things, to Utah to start working. The kids and I stayed for three more weeks in an empty house to finish up the details.

Through the fall I have ran a few 5K’s, and at the end of October the kids and I made a trip back to Arizona so that I could go on my first deer hunt. I shot a nice 3pt on opening morning and we spent the rest of the week enjoying Halloween festivities and meat processing.

Ryan is currently renting a hangar at the local airport to use as a shop, because a man has got to have his space (which there is not a lot of in our little apartment)!

Sharlee spends most of her free time asking for treats and making great arguments for why she needs them. She is also very excited to be 3 years old just before Christmas. All she really wants is cake! Soren is still the cuddliest boy and loves closing doors for us while saying, “door, door, door”.

We were all so sad to have to say bye to our little home in Globe, AZ, especially when we had just put in our woodstove, new chimney, and painted! It was hard to close that door!

We are so blessed!!! We hope you are all doing well and feel the love of the Savior that shines so brightly on all of us!

Love,

 Ryan, Micah, Sharlee, & Soren TAYLOR

Ramblings on a Thursday

In the film Yours, Mine and Ours, it is shown and stated that the work of a mother is important, vital even. 

Helen North in this movie, in the beginning, states that it took her a long time to begin to understand children and especially her own. Humility is a key ingredient in people being malleable. It is in humbleness that we can grow, step back from the things we know and move forward into the unknown. 

I fear challenges and enjoy being where I am comfortable. I am sure this is something many people can say is true for them. Even with that, I love adventures, challenging myself, and learning new things. Those two statements don’t seem to describe the same person, but I would counter that they often do. Marriage is something that no matter what, we dive into. There are challenges that come our way that we could have no idea we would face when we were looking forward to marriage. Sure, standing on the outside you look proudly on, hand in hand, excited for the future and confident in the strength that you and your spouse-to-be have created together. 

In my short 4 ½ years of marriage I have often been faced, or we have been faced with challenges that seemed daunting, yet we did not have a choice whether we would face them or not. We had already made that decision back when we signed the papers and exchanged rings. Man did some of those challenges burn in so many ways, but it is true that looking back, it is like overlooking a magnificent vista; the pure sky after a terrible storm.

Merry Christmas 2017

     Hello Family and Friends! Wow, another year has gone and so much has been happening. We are so grateful to the Lord for our many blessings and so happy to be celebrating Christ’s birth at the end of the year!

     Last year we were dreaming about having our own house, as always, and stumbled upon a little house at the end of a cul-de-sac in our neighborhood. We joked and told family we were going to buy it. In February we actually made it ours! We have already been busy customizing it by knocking out two walls, opening up the living area and kitchen.

    Since we are in our own place, Micah decided that we needed a dog and spur of the moment picked one up from a trailer park in April. We named our little puppy Biighah, and she grew fast and learned to bark—one of her favorite things to do other than play with Sharlee.

     We have kept this year busy, as Ryan has worked a lot of overtime, while Micah and Sharlee traveled many times between Globe and Prescott. Why you might ask?

    Sharlee got a little brother! Soren Ryan Taylor was born on August 5^th, 2017. He weighed 6 pounds, 6 ounces and was 19 ½ inches long. We were shocked that he was born with a full head of dark hair! He was born in Micah’s childhood bedroom. We were so happy that her parents accepted our crazy plan to have a baby at their house, assisted by the same midwife that was present at Micah’s birth. Soren is the best baby! He is full of smiles and giggles.  He is no exception to “growing up too fast”.

    How is it even possible that Sharlee will be 2 before the end of the year? She is such a delight. Sharlee loves reading books and had so much fun swimming at the local pool this summer with Mom. With her expanding vocabulary she is now giving us lots of laughs too!

    Ryan went hunting this fall and shot his first Arizona Mule Deer. It was a lot of arduous work and Micah was impressed and excited to put meat in the freezer. Sharlee pointed at the deer hanging up and told us, “Dinner!” and “Nummy Deer Meat”.

   We hope you all have had as good a year as we have and a very Merry Christmas.

With love,

Ryan, Micah, Sharlee and Soren Taylor

I just love this girl!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/YxrZRLolxNv5qSek2

From the Memory of a One Month Post-Partum Mom----Soren's Birth Story

         For months Sharlee and I drove 3 1/2 hrs to Prescott for appts. and the same back. I was so excited to be using the same midwife that my mom had when she delivered me.
         Sharlee and I went to Prescott on July 11th to stay and await Soren's arrival.  I was advised on the 6th to take it easy, no carrying Sharlee (difficult when her famous line was, "hold you, hold you! HOLD ME!"), no exercise, take Cramp Bark 5x a day for a week, because of signs of labor. We needed to make it to 36 weeks for our planned home birth.
        Daddy drove to Prescott on Friday nights after work and went back home on Sunday afternoons.         When August hit, I said that I was going to have the baby on Friday night after Ryan arrived or it probably wouldn't be for another 2 or 3 weeks. I was anxious. On that Friday, August 4th, Ryan got to Prescott about 8pm. Grumpy and Jules were out on a date. We put Sharlee to bed and we got to bed about 10pm.
        I woke up about 2:45am to go to the bathroom. I went back to bed and immediately started having strong contractions. Trying so hard to sleep, I finally turned my brain on after a few of them, because it seemed like they were pretty close. I opened my tablet to the Baby Center app. and used the contraction timer tool. I tried to keep sleeping, but hit the button for the beginning and end of each contraction. They were mainly 4 and 5 minutes apart. Once it got to 4:30 I decided it was a reasonable time to wake Ryan up.
        I told him, "We are going to have a baby today!" I had to say it a couple of times for him to grasp the words through his foggy, sleep brain. I waited until 5:30am to call Paula Matthew, our midwife. She said she would shower, get her coffee and make the drive from Skull Valley. I kept telling Ryan I felt so bad calling her and didn't want to bother her early, have her rush over and then wait "forever" for anything to happen.
       At this point Ryan and I went upstairs. I went in to Jules and Grumpy's room to tell them Paula was coming. Grumpy's face popped up with such sleepy excitement and said, "You're in labor?!" My mom asked something like, "you seriously called her this early?" (She told me later that I didn't look in distress).
Bustling Around!
       It was time to get ready, if we weren't already. Ryan and I went down to our designated birth room where Sharlee was sleeping in her pack n' play. With skill, Ryan moved Sharlee down the hall and placed her on the bed we had been sleeping in without her even cracking an eyelid. Ryan then made me Cream of Rice cereal (seems to be my pre-birth/ in labor breakfast) and I was able to take maybe 7 bites. Then as Paula and her assistant Deborah were pulling up I made my way downstairs. As they all bustled around and set up the birth pool I was on the floor working through contractions. Then I leaned against the bed to hang my belly. Paula had me get up and she checked me. I was about 5/6cm and around 7/8cm during a contraction.
       Once the pool was ready I got in and my contractions seemed to be almost gone for a while, a lot of space between them. Then slowly they came closer again.
       Paula said if they broke my water I would have this baby...that it would just save us some time. The ladies left the room so Ryan and I could discuss this. I was nervous, because I knew it would be a way to just increase intensity and I was feeling nervous for the "peak" and was starting to be a little anxious for being a mom of two. Ryan said a prayer for us and we decided-- We want to hold this boy! So Ryan went and told them we wanted to have them break my water.
       My bag of waters was pretty tough to poke through, but it worked.  I thought I would feel a pop, but nothing. It just created a leak. I went through more contractions in the birth pool.
We decided I should change positions. I got out of the water and went to sit on the toilet. The contractions started to come more often and felt more intense out of the water. I felt like pushing so we made our way back to the bedroom. I was going to get back in the pool, but I didn't. I stood basically right inside the door of the room through some contractions. Then squatting deep through more, while amniotic fluid spilled out. I decided to move to the bed, as my legs were feeling like jell-o in the deep squat.
        Paula checked me and during a contraction I was fully dilated. I began pushing with my contractions. After a few, it was getting real. Paula was doing perineal massage using olive oil. I caught a glimpse of a clock around this point and it was just before 10am.
I felt like my pushing wasn't doing anything, but they assured me he was moving down. My left leg got really achy and I moved it around and stretched it. Paula said it was a good sign of the baby moving down. As I pushed they gave me a cool cloth for my head. Ryan held my hand and stroked my hair. I told them that labor was sensational, full of sensations! In my mind I kept reminding myself that I needed to stay positive, my brain was a super roller coaster as thoughts of doubt came in my mind and I would shut them down with affirmations.  Through the pushing I may have used a 4 letter "sh" word two or three times.
         As Soren's head began to emerge, I was so excited and determined to get him out. He had so much dark hair!
Those feelings in my body were so intense--but I pushed through (I really didn't have any other option, haha). His head came out, it looked pretty purple to me. This worried me some, but was also just encouragement for me to get him all the way out. I reached down and held his head as I pushed to get his body to come through. I felt as his knobby shoulder and sharp elbow popped out and the rest of him seemed to easily slip out.
I brought him up to my stomach. Ryan and I  began loving on him. So perfect!
       Paula told me to think of my placenta, thank it it for supporting my baby. It soon came out. Ryan was able to cut the umbilical cord.
        The midwife and assistant pretty quickly were able to make their way upstairs so we could be alone.
        I tried to get Soren to nurse, but I couldn't get him to latch. He wouldn't open his eyes, because it was bright in the room.
        When Paula came back down she told me to express some milk for him to smell and taste. He latched and nursed, but really was not too hungry. We are SO grateful to have this handsome boy!

      *  It was so cool to be able to have this baby in the home I grew up in, in the room I grew up in! It was such a wonderful and truly calm morning. I could hear clanking of breakfast happening upstairs, Sharlee saying "Mo-ee" (more) while eating pancakes and the occasional 'Mom!' I knew that everyone was excited up there. My sweet sister came and took Sharlee so she could have fun with Auntie C  and her cousin. After Soren was born and the ladies left, Ryan and I were the only ones at the house with Soren for a bit, all napping. Truly though, I could not fall asleep.

*   Soren was born at 10:18am. The entire labor was under 8 hours and I had no tears. It was awesome that I was not exhausted from a long labor like I was with Sharlee. I was able to have a clear mind and not be 'out of it' as I would say I was last time.

This is the afternoon after birth. 

 

Getting the stats!

  <3  <3 <3

Animal Style Cheeseburger Family

So, I am still in school. Surprises, surprise. That is what happens when you get married and have a baby and are still trying to reach some of your goals...like graduating college.... hear, hear!!! I think I can say I am "nearing" the finish line. Well, this morning I had to write a family systems model paper. After sharing it with my husband he encouraged me to post it for all to hear.
So, here you are!

A family must function together, including all parts in the working model. The goal is to accomplish many different things, but the ability to do so is dependent upon the individuals and their relationships with one another. My family functions well together, but there are things about the relationships within the family that are not always harmonious. As a whole, functionality works out.

The Sandwich

            The Larsen family could be compared to many different functions or objects, but one that fits well is the Larsen family as an In-N-Out Animal Style Cheese Burger. These sandwiches are great and many people desire them and want to be near them in some way. People see or hear of the Larsen family and most often it is a positive reaction. The components of this sandwich work together in unique ways, but each part is necessary and does contribute in positive ways.

 The Bun

            My father holds the family together. He makes sure that everyone stays in line and is 

included. He understands the importance of family and makes sure that family is first. He protects it 

in a way that is sometimes quite bold. The other members of the family many times were unable to 

be involved in other activities or to get involved in other systems such as sports or too many church 

activities, as this could take away from the strength of the home sandwich. Other members of the 

sandwich were occasionally frustrated or upset when they started to slip out the side of the sandwich 

to try out some other systems and were quickly squeezed back in. All members have seen how this 

has been a strength to the sandwich and that the sandwich is the most important system. As I said, 

the father, or bun, holds the family together. The bun in a way is giving the whole family a hug and

 this is something that the bun did often. He would join the whole group for a big sandwich hug.

Animal Sauce

            This component is of great importance. Without this sauce, our mother, we would just be any other sandwich or family. This animal sauce smothers goodness all over the other members of the sandwich. She adds moisture to the bun and is exactly what he needs. They frustrate each other sometimes, because they don’t always see the need for one another’s specific traits. That is something that happens when you have been around each other for so long. This sauce brings so much joy to the sandwich, because she is sometimes a comedic relief when things seem to be “same old, same old”. This sandwich is always fresh and something to look forward to and the sauce puts it above the rest. All others unique qualities are just accentuated from the love that the animal sauce sprinkles all over.

Patty

 Everyone loves the patty, because that is the point of the whole sandwich, right? All other ingredients to follow are striving to please as the patty does in some way. The oldest brother is the patty, first as he is all about the meat in his hunting life. The family refers to the patty as the golden child. Zachary is so beloved by his parents and all his siblings look up to him. He is most often sweet and juicy, but if by chance you get a burnt edge, that is something that really can’t be masked by the other flavors. Someone such as the tomato, who is most often of great support to the patty, at times may get a bad bite and is quite put off by the patty and his rank way of expressing himself. That one bite does not ruin everything though. Once the tomato can get over the foulness of that bite, the continued experience is still pleasurable. Sibling interactions areinteresting. It is not always going to be positive and wonderful, but the components to this sandwich have always gotten back into good terms, being tight in that bun.

Lettuce

            The lettuce thinks it is so necessary, and it is, but it really doesn’t give a huge “pop” to the sandwich. It is a subtle crispness, that others might not realize has such a profound effect on the others. Ciara is the older sister that makes sure that everyone knows what they should be doing and how they should be doing it. 

 Cheese

            That cheese gets a lot of attention, as its name is in the sandwich. Isak is loud and can cause a scene. You pay extra for that cheese, but it really does make a difference. He makes everyone laugh and smile. I guess that is why we are supposed to say “cheese” when we smile in a picture. Depending on what kind of cheese he is for the day, sometimes there is a sharp bite, but this is a rare occasion, as most often Isak is a mild cheddar that anyone likes and can handle.

 Tomato

            I, being the tomato, have a unique role. Many people do not prefer tomatoes amongst their other preferred members of a sandwich. Alone, many people would discard the tomato, but if you keep the tomato in the sandwich you would realize that it is not completely overpowering, but it lets you know it is there. The tomato sometimes competes with other flavors, such as the onion, as both have some boldness. As you sink your teeth into an animal style cheese burger, you might notice the onion, then the tomato, then back and forth a few times, wondering which sensation you are more pleased with. You come to terms that both are wonderful and necessary to the whole. That banter happens occasionally.

 Onion

            The onion is sometimes a last thought to add. Not everyone orders it. In the beginning the patty made it clear that the onion was not necessary. There were enough members of the sandwich already. Once the onion was within the sandwich no one second guessed the presence of the new member. That onion sometimes can be quite loud in opinion or flavor. He makes sure he is heard. Spencer often gets frustrated that he is the youngest or last thought before the sandwich is complete, but he makes up for it in his loud ways and power he exerts.

Conclusion

            There is so much going on in this family that it is often hard to understand how all of the ingredients work together, but overall it is a pleasant lunch to have. All of the little parts that sometimes have their bickering or frustrations are little in comparison to the goodness to the whole, and as said before that animal sauce covers everything in love and remembrance of the importance of the whole. That bun really helps to hold it together too.

Thankful for a Shower

               Many a mother has talked about the struggle of getting a shower in everyday. Yeah, it's hard. Now, I am one who previous to becoming a mother probably showered every other day unless I had worked out or something (I used to workout? Go me!). Now though, "the struggle is real". It was pretty impossible in the early days of motherhood, but lately I have been able to put that little child in her high chair outside the bathroom door with a mound of toys and I get a few minutes before she starts crying because all of her toys are now mysteriously down the hall.
             Today as I got to take such a shower I started to think about how very blessed I am to have a high chair where I can contain my little offspring and keep her safe while I am out of reach. Then somehow I got on a little role of counting my blessings.  I was so grateful for my shower (even though it kind of dribbles out),  running water!, being able to find food that doesn't make my sensitive stomach sick, air conditioning!, having a family, dark chocolate covered almonds, so many things!
          I have probably said this before, but I wrote a super eloquent blog post in my head earlier today about all of this. I wish you could read it and really understand and know what I am saying. I want to remember to be grateful. Uhhhh, I have been weighed down with the "want what they haves" recently. I have so much!

          Side note, Rybot taught a wonder lesson on Sunday about the importance of keeping a journal. My journal writing has been pretty intermittent,  but we learned how it is important to write down thoughts, impressions, even the humdrum of our days, because it can bless others and it can bless our future selves. I hope that the things that I record will benefit someone, even if it just brings a simple smile, but hopefully things that I record will cause myself and others to act. We need a lot more of that these days. Not drama acting, but being bold, helping others, and just to keep on going when life is heavy.
 

Movie Joy

I love watching good, wholesome movies. Mostly I love watching cheesy movies or chick flick movies. I am blessed with a husband who usually let's me pick the movie and gladly sits with me through it. I find great joy in the funny things said in movies and these are often great topic starters for lively conversation.
One of my favorite things (though sometimes irritating) is picking apart or analyzing movies on the car ride home or just while getting ready for bed after watching a movie.
One movie that we love to watch is "Marley and Me". Now, there is plenty to laugh at in this movie. The thing is, sometimes the least likely part of a movie turns out to be our favorite or holds sentimental memories for us. In the movie the husband surprises his wife by taking her to pick out a puppy. I love this, because I would love to be surprised with a puppy. Well the lady tells them the prices for male and female, but then points to the one the wife is holding and says that one puppy is less. She holds him up and says she was going to pick him anyways, but she is going to call him their little @#&**&% puppy. Now after having watched this movie together a few times we were driving in the car somewhere and Ryan says, "I just don't understand why she says they are going to call him their little Clarence puppy. It is so random!" This to me was soooooo funny! I asked him what he was talking about and I shared with him the news that it made a lot of sense because they are calling him their clearance puppy, you know, because he was a discounted price.  Now this whole part is foreshadowing to the rest of the movie and the clearance puppy's wild behavior. The lady selling the puppies must have known there would be trouble.
So, that's all I have to say about that, except if you are going to watch movies or spend your time in front of screens just for entertainment, watch some good, wholesome movies and talk about them and the lessons they teach! Sometimes you get an extra bonus, Clarence!

Is this real life?

There are a ton of things that come into play when you are a new mom for the first time. I say for the first time, because I can imagine each time you have a baby you are once again a new mom.
Can you really prepare for what motherhood will be like, really prepare for those first weeks that just run together...one huge, wonderful, emotional blur? In the first few weeks people kept asking me how I felt, how SharleeOli was sleeping, if I loved being a mom, etc. I told people flat out that I thought every woman with more than one child was out of their minds, because how can someone live and function feeling this way? I had never known such exhaustion, frustration and many other things. A lot of people looked at me like I was crazy for seemingl not just being overjoyed and bubbly about the whole thing......I was, but it was masked by all the crazy.
Let me tell you, I am in total awe of every mother for how well they act while having no personal space, ever. I am probably painting a picture of myself being a very selfish, self-centered person, but honestly I have always loved children....I used to cancel dates if I had a babysitting gig offered, because a gang of little boys to play with was a guarantee of a fun night. But, when you are the mom, you don't get a break... you don't get to go home at the end of the night to your own silence...you don't get to close the bedroom  door and return to the scene in the morning...there is no certainty of what the night will hold. That was something that really stressed me out at first...I had serious anxiety about what my nights would entail.
Now, a mere 12 weeks into my life long work (because I know being a mom will never go away, 😊) I am starting to feel like a human being...well I have slowly felt more and more alive. Everyone talks about how you forget the first days of motherhood and that is why women are crazy enough to go for more rounds, but I think it is true. It all goes SO fast. Sharlee is not even 3 months old yet and she is dead set on sitting up by herself...she has pretty much accomplished it in about 4 days of trying. Now I wonder, did I wish away those first couple of weeks more than I enjoyed them? I enjoyed everything about her, but maybe my mind was clouded from exhaustion and hunger...haha, but I think that is the way it is supposed to be.
Sharlee is my best friend and I know everything I possibly can about her and I get to learn more every day as she develops such a unique personality.
What a pure blessing it is to be Sharlee's mother and friend, to care for her and be her advocate while she is young and whenever she needs me.

I love spending my days doing the things that are most important, loving and teaching...but mostly loving and observing. People around town have told me how lucky I am to be able to stay home with her now, but that in a couple of years I will need to get out of the house and away from my children....ummmm, I hope I don't ever feel like I have to get away every day, because this is a challenge, a beautiful challenge.

These two fell asleep and left me to finish a movie by myself!