Doctrinal Research Paper: Marriage
Abstract
Marriage is the basic foundation of the family in society.
As rates of marriage decrease, other things also are lacking in the strength
they previously had. The Family: A Proclamation to the World holds great truths
that give us the standard of society that we should be standing for. If we are
to return to our father in Heaven, we must maintain our families and let the
truths be known to those we are around.
Key words: marriage, society,
proclamation
At an ever increasing rate, people are
choosing to cohabitate rather than to marry. Marriage is a time old event and
decision that is now being questioned of its importance and significance. Our
societies need to have a basic structure and that has always been found within
the home, families. It is more than a simple tradition, it is a divinely
purposed institution to help us return to our father in Heaven.
How Does the Lord Feel?
God’s
standards do not change. They never have and they never will. There have been
many phases and trends that our society has gone through. In the 1970’s there
was the “hippie” movement and they were all about just doing what you want and
having a free life. They wanted to be completely unattached. Ever since that
time there has been an evolution of the societal thought process concerning
Marriage and relationships. In the Book of Saint Mark (10:6-8) in the Bible it
says, “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh.” This scripture has had much
meaning in my life recently. Being married, I know what it feels like to be one
with your spouse and the power it gives you to increase your own abilities.
The world is so large and one of the
biggest problems that people face is feelings of loneliness. Heavenly Father has a beautiful plan, The
Plan of Salvation that will guide us back to him. Children are reared by loving parents and they
have feelings of belonging. The home is a place to learn and grow. From that we
continue on to adulthood and find someone who compliments us and us them. We do
not have to be alone.
The Purpose and Roll of Family
Every
person needs to have relationships in which they can trust and in which they
learn and understand life principles. In The Family: A Proclamation to the
World, it states: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government
everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the
family as the fundamental unit of society.”
In that statement we find that the family is the building block of
society, a society that works and runs off of values. If you take out the foundation
of something, it becomes weak and will not withstand trials that come its way.
There are
so many challenges that families are faced with each day as individuals strive
to find their potential. An example was the beginning of the feminist movement in
the 1960’s and 70’s. Women wanted to have a place in the workforce, not only
that they wanted to start leading out. That is one place that I see the
crumbling of marriage. What society deems important has continually been
sliding marriage and family responsibilities out of the spotlight.
Elder M.
Russell Ballard said,
We cannot and we must not allow the
school, community, television,
or even Church organizations to
establish our children’s values. The Lord
has placed this duty with mothers and
fathers. It is one from which we
cannot escape and one that cannot be
delegated. Others may help, but
parents remain accountable. Therefore, we must
guard the sanctity of
our homes because that is where
children develop their values, attitudes,
and habits for everyday living. (p.79-80)
This is why
the institution of family is so important. When there is the proper order,
children learn how to function in society and have security while they develop
into responsible, independent adults.
Satan’s tug
The fight of standing up for marriage and family has always
been around. We are battling with ever increasing force as Satan does likewise.
Within the church young adults are delaying marriages and concerned about
having the absolute perfect situation in order to make that step in their
lives. That is part of Satan’s tug on us to be miserable. In a talk given by
Elder Holland in a BYU devotional he concluded about this topic: “Certainly do
not give into that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He
wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your
fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the
beauty of life unfold for you.” (1999)
There is a huge part of us that wants to fit in, that wants to keep the
peace, that wants to simply care for our own family. We think that we are
safeguarded if we just care for our individual marriage and family, but that
will not work as the fight is getting more and more intense. Heavenly Father
has pure intent and reason in the proper structure and it is through this
structure of marriage that we may return to him.
What is expected of us?
We know that our entire responsibility
is not only to take care of our own family and to have marriage be important to
us. As members of the church, we are expected to share what we believe and to
stand up for what is right in our community and within our sphere of influence.
In 1995 we were given The Family Proclamation. We did not receive new doctrine
within this document, but truths were reconfirmed. In the October 2005 Conference, M. Russell
Ballard said,
Today I call upon members of the Church
and on committed parents,
grandparents, and extended family
members everywhere to hold fast to
this great proclamation, to make it a banner
not unlike General Moroni’s
“title of liberty,” and to commit ourselves to
live by its precepts. As we
are all part of a family, the
proclamation applies to everyone.
It makes sense to me that the fundamental unit of society is
family, therefore marriage, because it is the overlying unit of society as we
are all children of God and have a responsibility to care for and love those
around us.
Not Being Married
Part of the
trend that we have is that of simply living together and not seeing the need
for marriage, because we can still be a happy family. There are many things
wrong with this idea. As I have already quoted the Family Proclamation, it
expounds on the structure of family. It tells us that marriage is to be between
a male and female and those future children have the right to be brought to
this earth to parents who are legally and lawfully married.
When we
start to break the foundation we see so many parts that crumble on our
structure. I found a list of “Benefits of family for children and adults” from
familyfacts.org and two of the facts were,
Married mothers tend to create a better
home environment for their
infants.
Married mothers also tended to interact more positively with
their infants compared to cohabiting or
single mothers.
Married mothers are less likely to
experience abuse and violence. Even
when the very high rates of abuse of separated
and divorced mothers were
added into the statistic, the rates of abuse
among mothers who had ever been
married were still lower than the rates
of abuse among women who had never
married and those who were cohabiting. Among
mothers who were currently
married or had ever been married, the rate of
abuse was 38.5 per 1,000 mothers.
Among mothers who have never been married the
rate was 81 per 1,000 mothers.
There are many more statistics that show the benefits of
marriage on all individuals in society/the family. Marriage is an important
institution that has so much weight in the direction of our society.
The choice
to marry is more than keeping to a tradition. Marriage is ordained of God and
we have to stand up while the society crumbles and do all that we can to maintain
the foundational structure of family. Our goal is to return to our father in
Heaven and this can only be achieved through the family unit.
References
Ballard, M. Russell (1991). Ensign, May, 79-80.
Ballard, M. Russell (2005). What Matters Most is What Lasts
Longest https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/10/what-matters-most-is-what-lasts- longest?lang=eng
Benefits of Family for Children and Adults. Retrieved from http://familyfacts.org/briefs/6/benefits-of-family-for-children-and-adults
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
Holland, Jeffrey R. (1999). Cast Not Away Therefore Your
Confidence. Brigham Young University
devotional address. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2010/04/making-the-marriage-decision?lang=eng
Saint Mark, The King James version of the Bible.
I hope that was enjoyable!!! (=
